Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Trip Just for Mommy : Finally Home

I recently took a small vacation for just Mommy. I went to Florida to visit friends and get a day of relaxation and I definitely recommend it. Daddy watched the baby so I could go and catch up and relax. I was extremely worried about leaving my son because it was the first weekend overnight trip without Mommy but I knew he was in safe hands.
When you get caught up in the everyday craziness of raising a toddler you can get pushed over the edge so it is good to hit the pause button, relax and reflect. I have realized over this trip that my life has changed greatly over the past few years. I have a toddler, I am married, I've grown up. Thinking about this made me smile because I could not wait to start my own family when I was younger and have that unconditional love of my family unit. Growing up adopted I always had my doubts about how much my family loved me. I know they had love but there is always that insecurity and families being disfunctional as they are (especially mine) didn't make me have any extra comfort in those feelings. Having a family of my own has filled this sort of hole in my heart and it is really the most amazing feeling. It is a feeling of being safe, warm and happy.
With this new found feeling of solidarity and family comes a lot of changes in my self. I find that things I used to like to do I no longer feel are important. I don't need to see the latest movies or eat at the coolest new restaurants. It isn't imperative that I purchase the latest style trends (well not for me anyway). I do like to hang out with my friends but going out partying is not a priority any longer. Perhaps this is temporary but for now spending that time sleeping is more enticing! I do know that making time for girlfriends and talking is important to keep relationships and friendships alive and I still have to work on finding that balance.
The trip I took was very relaxing and it felt great having time to myself and not have to worry about someone else the whole time. Not worrying if my son was cold, hungry or tired. Not having to deal with stinky poop diapers, temper tantrums, or getting hit in the head with toys. That time away to take a breath was great. On the plane ride home however I realized how much I really missed my family and could not wait to get back. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that actually started to tear up because I missed them so much (and my plane anxiety kicked in a little bit). I am so glad to have a family of my own, I finally feel that I am HOME.

1 comment:

  1. sweet, Jackie! I'm glad you're so happy in your grown up life.

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