Apartment Living: Toys for Toddlers

It's the holiday season. The turkey has been eaten and the Black Friday holiday shoppers were trampled but some are still searching for the perfect toys for our little boys and girls. I have found that the following toys get a lot of playtime action these days.

 

Ipad 2

LeapPad or Ipad - He uses mine whenever I am not looking so I finally gave up and downloaded some great learning apps for him. I mostly get the free ones but I did buy two educational apps for his birthday and he loves it! Ipad 2

Make Believe toys - My son loves to play in the kitchen, push shopping cart or stroller and pretend to vacuum. At the play dates the vacuum is the toy all the boys fight over. I hope he can learn to use the real one and keep the vacuuming passion going which is why this one is definitely on our wishlist!

A fold-able play tent and tunnel is perfect to get those jitters out when it is too cold for outdoor activities and it folds easily and stores right under the couch. 

Playgroups - Finding the Right One

As my son grows he is need of social interaction with other children and I need some interaction with other moms and the outside world. I have searched playgroups and got plenty of suggestions from my sister in law, friends and research online. As a Stay At Home Mom funds are tight because we are living off of one income. We made the choice to have me stay home to care for our son but that doesn't mean we have a large disposable income, we live on a budget and can't afford to pay exorbitant prices for Mommy and Me, music classes and playgroups.
When looking for a affordable place to play in the colder months and even a regular hang out for your child there has to be some criteria. For us it needed to be safe, clean, close by and affordable.
When beginning to look for a playgroup consider churches and other places of worship. They usually  have a basement or spare room and sometimes offer free or low cost playgroups to the neighborhood. Sometimes they are hard to find because their websites aren't up to date or even online but ask around the neighborhood or go to your local church and ask about the programs offered for children. Elementary or pre-schools may also have a playgroup or Mommy and Me program available.
Some play gyms have open play but you have to be a member in order to take advantage of the free play time. The problem with scheduled groups is that things come up and there are instances where your child is sick or you are sick or you have relatives in town and won't want to go. I like the playgroups that let you pay as you go, this way we can go when we want and aren't committed to any program. Some are worth it and some are not. Take a look at prices and see what fits your budget.
We have been frequenting a playgroup now that I was introduced to by my sister-in-law. It is closer to her but it is well worth the drive. This playgroup is at a religious school and they have plenty of toys, mats, games, jumpers and chairs for moms to socialize and children from infants to toddlers to play and have fun. The cost is five dollars and is pay as you go. They have a small coffee and bagels tray for adults and juice snacks for the children. After free play the head of the group asks everyone to clean up and then we sit on a mat and are read a story, sing songs, march and play instruments and other group activities. It is well worth the money and is lots of fun for my son. I only wish it I wasn't always late from getting a slow start in the morning and getting lost on the way there. Hopefully in the future we can get our act together in the morning to get us there on time.
Another option we like is the church right around the corner on 37th Street. It is in the afternoon and they only ask for donations to offset the cost of the snacks provided and there is plenty of room for my son to run around. The only complaint is that the play area can be very warm and dusty but I guess it is to be expected in a basement of an old church and there is no real structure and I don't see why they can't read a book or sing a couple songs but I guess you get what you pay for.

If you know of a great place to play please comment on this post and share with other moms

Here are a few sites in Queens that helped me in my search
- nymetroparents.com
- mommypoppins.com
- nyparenting.com

Cameron Remmer: Cameron Come Home

Cameron Remmer: Cameron Come Home: Cameron Remmer went missing on Oct 6 in San Francisco. He checked out of the Fairmont and has not been seen or heard from since. We are des...

Back To Reality:

So I took a small summer break from writing the blog. I was hoping to be posting from Sao Paulo, Brazil and make it a Bom Dia! Urban Living Abroad post but in a any event the market took a downturn and my husbands company decided he is needed here in NY. So all the planning and packing to move to another country was quickly shifted to making plans for the fall here in the city that never sleeps. No siesta's or soccer or Portuguese lessons, Fugghedaboudit! Here we stay - home sweet home.
Yes - I said Husband. We finally got married and made it official! In part because we were going to be relocating but it was time to do it anyway. Because of the uncertainty with the time frame we had to do a very low key wedding and just went down to city hall. It was a lot of fun and not really stress free but I'm sure less stress than planning a whole wedding. Hopefully we can have an anniversary ceremony in five or ten years.
Anyway I have again changed gears and am devoting myself to NYC urban living and will hopefully post some more blogs about our "adventures" as a family and  some other stuff along the way. I'm discovering that home is where my family is and it's the only place I need to be.
My son has been growing so much it is crazy to see. He is such an energetic, smart, sweet little boy and he makes me laugh every day. I was having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that we were not embarking on a life changing adventure but when I looked at his face I realized that each day is adventure and I can't help but smile. It takes away from the disappointment of not being able to live abroad and of having to tackle the issues that I face at home but I've found a new focus on family, myself, education and motherhood.

I'm looking forward to sharing new experiences and tips I'm learning on the way.

Here we go!

Jackie
NYC Mommy

New Grade System for NYC Restaurants

As a mom and a somewhat foodie the new grades posted on my favorite local restaurants had me wondering. What exactly does a grade of an A or B mean? Can I still go to eat there and is the food safe? I can't help but cringe at the thought of a B restaurant because my thoughts wander to pests and nose pickers and I can't help but wonder why the owners wouldn't work harder to get their sanitary inspection grade up to an A.
Is a B grade ever good enough?

I know many others who have been wondering the same and I'd like to share some information I have found.

What are the grades, and what do they mean? 

Grades reflect how well a restaurant complies with the food safety requirements of the New York
City Health Code and the State Sanitary Code. When inspectors examine a restaurant’s sanitary
conditions and practices, they assign numerical points for different violations of the Health Code.
Different violations carry different numbers of points, depending on their nature and severity. The
total number of violation points provides a measure of the restaurant’s general condition. Under the
new system, the Health Department will use the scores from certain inspections to generate letter
grades that are easier to interpret. Here are the grades:

• Grade A. 0 to 13 points for sanitary violations. 
• Grade B. 14 to 27 points for sanitary violations. 
• Grade C. 28 or more points for sanitary violations. 
• Grade Pending. A restaurant’s B or C grade is not final until the restaurant has had the
opportunity to go before the Health Department’s Administrative Tribunal to contest the
violations cited against it. Until then, the restaurant has the option to post either the
preliminary grade or a card that says “Grade Pending.” Once the grade is final, the restaurant
must immediately post the letter grade card and take down the Grade Pending card.

How should consumers interpret grades of B or C?

In the first year or so of grading, we expect that most restaurants will earn a B grade. Restaurants
with B or C grades should improve their overall food safety practices, but the Health Department
immediately closes restaurants with conditions that may be hazardous to public health.

Where can I search for restaurants or learn more about a restaurant’s inspection history?

Visit nyc.gov/health/restaurants to see inspection details and to search for restaurants by grade,
neighborhood, cuisine and more.

Click here for more information - www.nyc.gov

Happy and Safe Eating!!!

Baby Talk

Can You Spoil A Baby?

When you have a baby one of the things you may worry about is if your going to be a good mother. You ask yourself questions about disciplining and after school activities and what you would do in certain situations but those things don't happen until later. What about when the baby is brand new? Can you spoil a baby?
When I was pregnant I said that I was going to be a strict mother and I wouldn't let my baby get away with anything because who likes a kid with no manners? We both thought it would be me saying no but when I held that baby for the first time in my arms I knew all that would change. I tried my best to be serious when he threw his food on the floor but when he flashed that baby grin with all gums and only two little teeth I couldn't help but laugh. Now that my son is getting older he knows that he can get away with it a little (who am I kidding - a lot) more when Mommy is around. I am so grateful that we did sleep training early and he at least doesn't fight nap time.
Our son was about four months when we decided to sleep train in his own room and crib. He seemed more comfortable in the crib and I knew he was safer there than sleeping in bed with us. We read all the books and came up with a plan that I thought would work. After four months of not being able to sleep a full night and all the changes my body was going through, it felt like I was in the twilight zone. I was cranky, exhausted and delirious.He didn't sleep through the night just yet but having him in our room was not working and I needed to sleep through the night as much as he did. Every little sound he made woke me up and when it was too quiet I woke up to make sure he was still breathing. The first night we "trained" him, it was so hard for me. Daddy kept telling me to leave him alone and let him cry for ten minutes before checking in on him. I stared at the monitor with the little screen and saw him squirm and cry. I went in after five minutes because it was torture to hear my baby boy cry like that. I knew he was tired and he wasn't hungry or wet so I couldn't pick him up, I had to let him cry it out. I rubbed his back, said I love you until he calmed down a little and then left for another five minutes. Wouldn't you know, he cried for five more minutes but then went right to sleep. We were both so relieved. Now that I knew we could do it, letting him cry for five to ten minutes didn't seem like a big deal. It got easier the next time but it still was really difficult to hear him cry.
My husband said we were spoiling him but all the books I read said that it is impossible to spoil a baby at that age. As he got older and smarter he knew that being in his crib meant it was sleep time and he would eventually just play or babble until he fell asleep. I am now grateful we sleep trained early because I hear some horror stories now about mothers who have to rock and hold their baby even for naps and I wonder how they ever get anything done. I do sometimes wish that my baby would like to sleep with me in bed but that is my own selfish wish of having him to cuddle with and the best thing for him is to be able to relax alone and fall asleep on his own.

Cronin and Phelan: A Yummy Neighborhood Secret

http://www.croninandphelans.com/

Cronin and Phelan Bar and Restaurant is on Broadway and Steinway right next to the Chase Bank on the corner. My spouse and I were recommended this restaurant over 5 years ago and have been going there frequently ever since. This restaurant has undergone some renovations over the past few years but has been located here in Astoria for many years. If you are in the area and don't want to go to a crowded trendy Beer Garden or expensive 5 Napkin Burger you should definitely try this place. On the outside it looks like your average neighborhood bar but on the inside you'll find friendly faces and good grub!
The atmosphere is warm, comfortable and homey. There are plenty of televisions to watch sports on and the beer on tap continues to flow. I was afraid to write about this place because it has been getting packed on our weekly night out and sometimes there is a 10 minute wait but I had to share the news of my favorite bar and burger joint with my fellow neighbors because the owner and staff are so amazing and warm that they are like family and the food is always great. They have an outside area in the back that is opened up in the summer and has heating lamps in the winter. Our favorite staple on the menu is the burger deluxe. You can get the usual choices of cheese (my favorite is mozzarella) and side of fresh cut crispy fries or substitute for onion rings if your feeling gluttonous. My mouth is watering just thinking about it because it always come out juicy and just right. Nowadays, when I want some lighter fare I choose from one of the salads on the list that are tremendous and delicious or I check out the specials menu and choose something from there. Last week there was a grilled chicken salad with almonds, avocado and onions and I've thought about it all week and can't wait to have it again. The chicken was grilled to perfection and the blend was light and exactly what I wanted. The vegetable soup is always available although written on the specials menu and we order it every time. I've had the Turkey Dinner and the Shepard's Pie and both are good dishes and the price is just right. If you are shopping on Steinway and need to grab lunch skip the other fast food places and hop into Cronin and Phelan for a burger and a beer!

CRONIN & PHELAN'S BAR AND RESTAURANT

38-14 BROADWAY

ASTORIA NY 11103

(718) 545 8999

www.croninandphelans.com

The Motherhood

When I entered "The Motherhood" I thought that it would be so wonderful to have a whole new group of people to understand what I have been going through as a struggling new mom trying to adjust to this new role and still be me. Well there definitely is that aspect of it but I never thought that there would be a whole new group of people to judge me.
Women in general always feel pressure to be perfect, fit in and look right. High school is probably when we begin to feel this pressure from society, our peers and sometimes our family. My family would steer clear whenever I was to get ready for any event because there would be a heap of clothes on the bed and usually a meltdown until finally we have to leave and I felt somewhat content with how I looked (and this was before the baby weight!) I know a lot of the pressure is brought on by my own self judgement. I want to be the perfect mother, spouse and women of the world but I was surprised to find out how much judgment there is in the mommy world and since it has to do with children some women feel it is their duty to tell you the mistakes they believe you are making and how their choices are much better.
As a first time mother I was bombarded with "friendly advice" that other mothers threw at me. Don't get me wrong - I think learning from others is absolutely necessary and can definitely help when ideas are dispensed in a responsible manner, (especially for new moms) but there are certain things that have changed with the times or are just choices I have made for me and my family and I don't want an opinion about them. Living in Astoria, NY we are surrounded but many people of all different ethnic backgrounds and walks of life. When taking a walk it is sometimes hard to not have people come up and comment and not everyone is saying "awww, how cute!". I've heard that I should give my child curry because it cures a cold and that the pacifier I gave him will give him buck teeth and he won't be able to speak (he speaks fine - thank you) and so many other gems of wonderful advice from immunizations to diapering etc... The dirty looks I've gotten from giving my kid crackers in order to keep him quiet when in line at the bank or when I change my sons poopie diaper on a park bench. I expect it from people who don't know what its like to have a screaming child but not from my fellow mommies who should know how hard it is. I'm then forced to ask myself - Am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad mother because of these choices? How can I be if I am doing what is best for me and my family?
It all started when I was pregnant and gained a lot of weight. People on the street asked me if I was having twins many times. One man even asked me if I was sure that I wasn't. (Come on buddy, really? - I am so big but I haven't been to the doctor yet to know what is growing inside of me???)  Comments just made me more upset and want to eat more chocolate cake. When I went to pre-natal yoga I met a friend who constantly made me feel like I was doing things wrong. She walked 5 miles a day and only ate organic everything while I indulged at Cold Stone and could barely waddle around the block. I befriended her because I thought she needed a friend and I needed one too but as soon as our sons were born I realized I couldn't stand the comments and disguised criticism. She was a brand new mom too, how could she know better than I do? I am pretty smart, read a lot of baby books, prepared and anticipated my child as much as she did. Since I have a young face, walking around with a newborn was like opening the gates to hell and the gremlins are clothed as nice old ladies. "Don't you think you should put a sweater on your baby?", or "He looks so thin, are you feeding him enough cereal?" Some suggestions I know are just helpful but I couldn't help but feel judged.
Believe me, I am not completely blameless in the circle of catty judgment in women. In the past I often used it as a defense mechanism, putting down another in order to make myself feel better. Towards the end of high school and throughout college I worked on changing. I realized that it didn't make me feel better, just guilty and every time I took part it made me an ugly person. It is hard to break bad habits and now that I am heavier than usual and uncomfortable I feel vulnerable again. I implore others to think before they speak and then put yourself in the other persons shoes and chose your words wisely. It isn't easy to do this and perhaps it comes with maturity and growth. I try my best to not judge my fellow mothers/women and love to receive and share suggestions and thoughts that may make the road ahead a little less bumpy. I have my group of lady friends that know what it feels like to be scrutinized and I would never want to add to that. It is hard enough to be a mother let alone trying to fit into somebody else's definition of "perfect". I denounce perfection and hope to strive to be the best ME! A good friend, a fun mommy, a supportive spouse and the dopest break dancer on the block (well that last one may be a dream). ; )

Happy New Year! - Easy Recipe for Healthy Burritos

My last blog post got such a great response and I am so glad so many could relate to what I was feeling. Sometimes it is hard to say how you really feel because you may feel it is taboo or you are alone in your feelings. Ladies feel a lot of pressure to be perfect and we all share in this feeling so in my blog I'll try to shed a little light on how it really is and hope maybe it will show others they are not alone in their feelings. (wow that's a lot of feelings! haha)
With the new year here we have all made resolutions to try and make life better than last year. One of my resolutions is to be healthier and to finally lose this baby weight! It has been over a year and I can't really say I "just had a baby". Before someone asks me if I am pregnant or I pass out from wearing Spanx that are too tight, I am going to give this a real try. I'm going to Lucille Roberts on Steinway because it is cheap and has babysitting, I bought only healthy foods for me and my family, I cleaned out my cupboard and started recording motivational shows like Biggest Loser. I have been searching for recipes that will cut calories but not flavor. I decided to try my own substitutions. The first recipe I tried was the good old Burrito. This one is much healthier than the original version and is quick and easy so I can still go to the gym and have dinner ready in 30 minutes.

Ingredients List:
extra lean ground beef or ground turkey
spicy, chunky salsa (I used Santa Barbara Garden Style)
reduced fat sour cream (optional)
brown rice
lettuce or cilantro
cumin
oregano
salt and pepper
whole wheat wraps

Directions:

1. Prepare rice how you usually would ( I make mine in a rice cooker, only takes 30 mins) and while rice is cooking you can prepare the rest of the ingredients.
2. Season meat with cumin, oregano, salt and pepper and brown meat. Drain and set aside.
3. Put cheese, salsa, lettuce, taco sauce and sour cream in small containers and on the table.
4. Place whole wheat wraps on a plate and warm just before serving.
5. Ring the dinner bell!

Now you have a make your own healthy burrito buffet and it only took 30 mins.This recipe is great because each person can customize their own plate and omit anything they don't want. It also works with grilled chicken or grilled vegetables and even black beans and avocado. Try your own version and share what you liked best. I'll keep trying new healthy options and share with you.

Changes - Life After Baby

One thing that everyone says is that everything changes when you have children and not only are they right, it is an understatement. Like it or not your entire life is about to change in ways you never imagined. Of course there is the happiness and the feelings of love that only a mother can have. There are changes that you did not know were going to happen and maybe were not ready for. As a mother the changes that occurred in my life hit me like a ton of bricks and then crept up and slapped me again.
Being a young mother I am one of the first ladies in my circle of friends to have a baby and a baby makes you unavailable a lot of time, especially in the beginning. Eventually the single gals stop calling to hang out, stop inviting you to the birthday dinners and don't understand why all you talk about is your baby at brunch. It's a hard truth but it is true, you see who your true friends really are. Even your best friend may not understand where you are coming from if they don't have kids. Most of the young ladies my age are totally focused on their own life consumed with their own problems, and that is absolutely fine and the way it should be but it leaves little time for their overwhelmed new mommy friend and it doesn't help that they cannot even begin to understand how your are feeling as a new mom. It can be overwhelming when your entire life has changed beyond recognition. Even when I look in the mirror I don't totally recognize myself and have to take a double look. My body has taken on a new shape. Even my feet have grown and I can't fit into my old heels (and why would I want to wear them anyway?) The battle scars (stretch marks) have made it to the hips and even breasts and that cocoa butter never helped. This kangaroo pouch of skin is still droopy and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym because I am exhausted. Your man definitely does not get that you feel far from the sexy lady you once were. You find yourself obsessed with trying to find deals on diapers, baby food and researching the best items to buy for babies. I would suggest trying to share this with your friends, at least your best friend, but I know it isn't easy and they probably don't want to hear it.
Your friends may not get that when you gave birth to your baby your entire outlook on life changed. I no longer think about myself first but what is best for my son, what is best for his future and how I can make his life so much better than what I had. After having your first child you really truly understand the meaning of pure unconditional love and it makes you tear up with joy every time you even think about it. Sniff.... like right now. It may sound cheesy but it is true. After a baby you enter a different realm of being that you can only fully understand once you have crossed into it. It is beyond description and may even be beyond words. The only way I can sort of describe it is like when you are under a leafy canopy of forest and you stumble upon an area where the sun is shining extra bright. You lift your chin towards it, close your eyes and feel the warmth on your face and all over your body, a cool breeze is whistling by and you get goose bumps all over. You can't help but smile and feel calm, warm and loved. It feels like a miracle.
Having this little bundle of joy can help ease the pain of the gap growing between you and your girlfriends but what is even better is you can relate to new ladies who have gone through the same thing and want to help and talk. Family gets closer and pals who are having babies become close friends. Your network changes and it can be hard to deal with. I try to remind myself that I once was childless and didn't understand. One day they too will have their babies and I will be there for support because I know how it feels to change.