A Trip Just for Mommy : Finally Home

I recently took a small vacation for just Mommy. I went to Florida to visit friends and get a day of relaxation and I definitely recommend it. Daddy watched the baby so I could go and catch up and relax. I was extremely worried about leaving my son because it was the first weekend overnight trip without Mommy but I knew he was in safe hands.
When you get caught up in the everyday craziness of raising a toddler you can get pushed over the edge so it is good to hit the pause button, relax and reflect. I have realized over this trip that my life has changed greatly over the past few years. I have a toddler, I am married, I've grown up. Thinking about this made me smile because I could not wait to start my own family when I was younger and have that unconditional love of my family unit. Growing up adopted I always had my doubts about how much my family loved me. I know they had love but there is always that insecurity and families being disfunctional as they are (especially mine) didn't make me have any extra comfort in those feelings. Having a family of my own has filled this sort of hole in my heart and it is really the most amazing feeling. It is a feeling of being safe, warm and happy.
With this new found feeling of solidarity and family comes a lot of changes in my self. I find that things I used to like to do I no longer feel are important. I don't need to see the latest movies or eat at the coolest new restaurants. It isn't imperative that I purchase the latest style trends (well not for me anyway). I do like to hang out with my friends but going out partying is not a priority any longer. Perhaps this is temporary but for now spending that time sleeping is more enticing! I do know that making time for girlfriends and talking is important to keep relationships and friendships alive and I still have to work on finding that balance.
The trip I took was very relaxing and it felt great having time to myself and not have to worry about someone else the whole time. Not worrying if my son was cold, hungry or tired. Not having to deal with stinky poop diapers, temper tantrums, or getting hit in the head with toys. That time away to take a breath was great. On the plane ride home however I realized how much I really missed my family and could not wait to get back. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that actually started to tear up because I missed them so much (and my plane anxiety kicked in a little bit). I am so glad to have a family of my own, I finally feel that I am HOME.

Back To Reality:

So I took a small summer break from writing the blog. I was hoping to be posting from Sao Paulo, Brazil and make it a Bom Dia! Urban Living Abroad post but in a any event the market took a downturn and my husbands company decided he is needed here in NY. So all the planning and packing to move to another country was quickly shifted to making plans for the fall here in the city that never sleeps. No siesta's or soccer or Portuguese lessons, Fugghedaboudit! Here we stay - home sweet home.
Yes - I said Husband. We finally got married and made it official! In part because we were going to be relocating but it was time to do it anyway. Because of the uncertainty with the time frame we had to do a very low key wedding and just went down to city hall. It was a lot of fun and not really stress free but I'm sure less stress than planning a whole wedding. Hopefully we can have an anniversary ceremony in five or ten years.
Anyway I have again changed gears and am devoting myself to NYC urban living and will hopefully post some more blogs about our "adventures" as a family and  some other stuff along the way. I'm discovering that home is where my family is and it's the only place I need to be.
My son has been growing so much it is crazy to see. He is such an energetic, smart, sweet little boy and he makes me laugh every day. I was having difficulty coming to terms with the fact that we were not embarking on a life changing adventure but when I looked at his face I realized that each day is adventure and I can't help but smile. It takes away from the disappointment of not being able to live abroad and of having to tackle the issues that I face at home but I've found a new focus on family, myself, education and motherhood.

I'm looking forward to sharing new experiences and tips I'm learning on the way.

Here we go!

Jackie
NYC Mommy