I recently took a small vacation for just Mommy. I went to Florida to visit friends and get a day of relaxation and I definitely recommend it. Daddy watched the baby so I could go and catch up and relax. I was extremely worried about leaving my son because it was the first weekend overnight trip without Mommy but I knew he was in safe hands.
When you get caught up in the everyday craziness of raising a toddler you can get pushed over the edge so it is good to hit the pause button, relax and reflect. I have realized over this trip that my life has changed greatly over the past few years. I have a toddler, I am married, I've grown up. Thinking about this made me smile because I could not wait to start my own family when I was younger and have that unconditional love of my family unit. Growing up adopted I always had my doubts about how much my family loved me. I know they had love but there is always that insecurity and families being disfunctional as they are (especially mine) didn't make me have any extra comfort in those feelings. Having a family of my own has filled this sort of hole in my heart and it is really the most amazing feeling. It is a feeling of being safe, warm and happy.
With this new found feeling of solidarity and family comes a lot of changes in my self. I find that things I used to like to do I no longer feel are important. I don't need to see the latest movies or eat at the coolest new restaurants. It isn't imperative that I purchase the latest style trends (well not for me anyway). I do like to hang out with my friends but going out partying is not a priority any longer. Perhaps this is temporary but for now spending that time sleeping is more enticing! I do know that making time for girlfriends and talking is important to keep relationships and friendships alive and I still have to work on finding that balance.
The trip I took was very relaxing and it felt great having time to myself and not have to worry about someone else the whole time. Not worrying if my son was cold, hungry or tired. Not having to deal with stinky poop diapers, temper tantrums, or getting hit in the head with toys. That time away to take a breath was great. On the plane ride home however I realized how much I really missed my family and could not wait to get back. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that actually started to tear up because I missed them so much (and my plane anxiety kicked in a little bit). I am so glad to have a family of my own, I finally feel that I am HOME.
Showing posts with label Changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Changes. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Changes - Life After Baby
One thing that everyone says is that everything changes when you have children and not only are they right, it is an understatement. Like it or not your entire life is about to change in ways you never imagined. Of course there is the happiness and the feelings of love that only a mother can have. There are changes that you did not know were going to happen and maybe were not ready for. As a mother the changes that occurred in my life hit me like a ton of bricks and then crept up and slapped me again.
Being a young mother I am one of the first ladies in my circle of friends to have a baby and a baby makes you unavailable a lot of time, especially in the beginning. Eventually the single gals stop calling to hang out, stop inviting you to the birthday dinners and don't understand why all you talk about is your baby at brunch. It's a hard truth but it is true, you see who your true friends really are. Even your best friend may not understand where you are coming from if they don't have kids. Most of the young ladies my age are totally focused on their own life consumed with their own problems, and that is absolutely fine and the way it should be but it leaves little time for their overwhelmed new mommy friend and it doesn't help that they cannot even begin to understand how your are feeling as a new mom. It can be overwhelming when your entire life has changed beyond recognition. Even when I look in the mirror I don't totally recognize myself and have to take a double look. My body has taken on a new shape. Even my feet have grown and I can't fit into my old heels (and why would I want to wear them anyway?) The battle scars (stretch marks) have made it to the hips and even breasts and that cocoa butter never helped. This kangaroo pouch of skin is still droopy and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym because I am exhausted. Your man definitely does not get that you feel far from the sexy lady you once were. You find yourself obsessed with trying to find deals on diapers, baby food and researching the best items to buy for babies. I would suggest trying to share this with your friends, at least your best friend, but I know it isn't easy and they probably don't want to hear it.
Your friends may not get that when you gave birth to your baby your entire outlook on life changed. I no longer think about myself first but what is best for my son, what is best for his future and how I can make his life so much better than what I had. After having your first child you really truly understand the meaning of pure unconditional love and it makes you tear up with joy every time you even think about it. Sniff.... like right now. It may sound cheesy but it is true. After a baby you enter a different realm of being that you can only fully understand once you have crossed into it. It is beyond description and may even be beyond words. The only way I can sort of describe it is like when you are under a leafy canopy of forest and you stumble upon an area where the sun is shining extra bright. You lift your chin towards it, close your eyes and feel the warmth on your face and all over your body, a cool breeze is whistling by and you get goose bumps all over. You can't help but smile and feel calm, warm and loved. It feels like a miracle.
Having this little bundle of joy can help ease the pain of the gap growing between you and your girlfriends but what is even better is you can relate to new ladies who have gone through the same thing and want to help and talk. Family gets closer and pals who are having babies become close friends. Your network changes and it can be hard to deal with. I try to remind myself that I once was childless and didn't understand. One day they too will have their babies and I will be there for support because I know how it feels to change.
Being a young mother I am one of the first ladies in my circle of friends to have a baby and a baby makes you unavailable a lot of time, especially in the beginning. Eventually the single gals stop calling to hang out, stop inviting you to the birthday dinners and don't understand why all you talk about is your baby at brunch. It's a hard truth but it is true, you see who your true friends really are. Even your best friend may not understand where you are coming from if they don't have kids. Most of the young ladies my age are totally focused on their own life consumed with their own problems, and that is absolutely fine and the way it should be but it leaves little time for their overwhelmed new mommy friend and it doesn't help that they cannot even begin to understand how your are feeling as a new mom. It can be overwhelming when your entire life has changed beyond recognition. Even when I look in the mirror I don't totally recognize myself and have to take a double look. My body has taken on a new shape. Even my feet have grown and I can't fit into my old heels (and why would I want to wear them anyway?) The battle scars (stretch marks) have made it to the hips and even breasts and that cocoa butter never helped. This kangaroo pouch of skin is still droopy and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym because I am exhausted. Your man definitely does not get that you feel far from the sexy lady you once were. You find yourself obsessed with trying to find deals on diapers, baby food and researching the best items to buy for babies. I would suggest trying to share this with your friends, at least your best friend, but I know it isn't easy and they probably don't want to hear it.
Your friends may not get that when you gave birth to your baby your entire outlook on life changed. I no longer think about myself first but what is best for my son, what is best for his future and how I can make his life so much better than what I had. After having your first child you really truly understand the meaning of pure unconditional love and it makes you tear up with joy every time you even think about it. Sniff.... like right now. It may sound cheesy but it is true. After a baby you enter a different realm of being that you can only fully understand once you have crossed into it. It is beyond description and may even be beyond words. The only way I can sort of describe it is like when you are under a leafy canopy of forest and you stumble upon an area where the sun is shining extra bright. You lift your chin towards it, close your eyes and feel the warmth on your face and all over your body, a cool breeze is whistling by and you get goose bumps all over. You can't help but smile and feel calm, warm and loved. It feels like a miracle.
Having this little bundle of joy can help ease the pain of the gap growing between you and your girlfriends but what is even better is you can relate to new ladies who have gone through the same thing and want to help and talk. Family gets closer and pals who are having babies become close friends. Your network changes and it can be hard to deal with. I try to remind myself that I once was childless and didn't understand. One day they too will have their babies and I will be there for support because I know how it feels to change.
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